Wednesday, June 30, 2010

(Husband) If you died........

Daisy and I like to play a little game called, “If you died” with a lightly seasoned, “If I died”. I am sharing this because I find a great deal of pleasure in improving other’s relationships with one another. Feel free to play this game with those closest to you. Let me give you an example.

Goose: If you died I would drink myself to death out of great sorrow.

Daisy: That’s very sweet but who would take care of the kids?

Goose: I don’t know. Your parents? An orphanage? I would be in too much pain to take care of them.

Daisy: You would have to pull yourself together.

Goose: How about if I never talk to the kids about you? How about if I marry someone within a month of your death? How’s that for pulling myself together? Hey listen, if I died you wouldn’t get anything because you are not in my will.

Daisy: Oh boy. And loose out on 100 bucks. Whatever should I do?

Goose: If you died you would never be able to marry again.

Daisy: Why not?

Goose: Because you have baggage.

Daisy: What are you talking about?

Goose: The kids.

Daisy: They are not baggage! If you are going to die I hope it is soon because I am more than capable of going out and wrangling up myself a man.

Goose: Not as good as me though.

Daisy: (Sigh) You’re right.

Goose: Really?

Daisy: Really.

Goose: I love you

Daisy: I love you too.

Do you see how it all works? It brings people closer together. Liven up your next family gathering with a little “If you died” and see how it goes.


  1. This totally cracked me up. I'm going to have to play it tonight with my husband.

    When we were growing up, my kid brother and I used to play a game where we'd stage imaginary fights between random family members. It'd go something like this:

    Me: OK, what if Grandma Fenske got into a fight with Aunt Helen?

    Brother: Do they get weapons?

    Me: Switchblades.

    Brother: Grandma Fenske would win. What about a tag team match with Cousin Jake and Cousin McKay facing off against Cousin Orrin and Cousin Lynda?

    Me: Interesting, bringing in both sides of the family like that. I'm going with Lynda & Orrin. They're meaner.

    Brother: Good point.

    We could entertain ourselves for hours doing this. Still can, come to think of it.


  2. I especially love the wife's line: "Oh boy. And lose out on 100 bucks? whatever should I do?"

    Being married with kids, I totally get this.

    Very funny! It cracked me up!

    Julie Johnson

    PS. I'm still giggling!

  3. We totally play that game too. It is very clear that if I die before my husband I want him to be happy, but only after he spends at least 10 years mourning me.


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  5. Tawna,

    It certainly opens up the imagination. I'm going to play imaginary fights with Daisy tonight. How about with celebrities?


    I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Thanks for your comment.

    My dear sweet Kelly,

    My parents actually wrote in their will they wanted us to hire mourners to openly weep over their caskets.

  6. That provision in your parents' will about hiring mourners, seems perfectly reasonable to me.

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  8. Buddy,

    I wouldn't even know how to find them. Do you have contact information?

  9. If they're still using their real names, you might have some success with a Google search, or maybe Facebook.

  10. We love this game. We also play the game of which friends of the other's we are allowed to have sex with.

    I know...we are messed up. But really happy so don't judge.

    Seriously...need to go dress the kids who are now eating pie for breakfast because I am ignoring them...

  11. Jennifer,

    How many friends to you get to have on your list?

  12. Its not a list per se but more of a "yes" or "no". He actually only has one that I would but I have like 20 that he would. Go figure.

    He also has put dibs on all 3 of the Dixie Chicks. Celebrities are a whole different game though and that's when my interest finally peaks.