Wednesday, August 25, 2010

(Man/Husband) State Fair (Part II)

DG: The food! The….the….the…brick of fries that weighs 2 pounds before the deep frying and 5 pounds after. The corn dogs that have more breading than mystery meat. The ribs, cotton candy, teriyaki chicken skewers, chocolate and vanilla ice cream swirls. What more can I say? The people!!!! The people watching is the best part. Some of these people have not left their house since the last time they came to see you. I have never seen so many tattoos in my life! And some of those tattoos came straight from a booth less than 20 yards away for as low as $29.99. And if you refer a friend you get half off of the next tattoo (though not the same day mind you). What about the families who dress exactly the same or the teenagers making out underneath the bleachers of the concert stadium. Shirtless men and women in bikini tops. People carrying overpriced and overstuffed animals that are bigger than them. Where are they going to store it? And how many times did they have to shell out 5 bucks for every basketball they would then try to get into a small rim 15 feet high off the ground in order to win the darn thing. The invisible pet with a collar you carry around along with the pink spray painted cowboy hat with an added bonus of outrageous watermelon shaped sunglasses with black seeds, green rind, and red flesh color on the rims. You only see those at your palace. And after a hard day of walking around for hours you can always settle into a chair that will shake your feet until they are numb while holding a cold 12 oz Bud Light in a plastic cup that sells for $3.50.

SF: Goose?

DG: (panting) Yes?

SF: (voice cracking) I knew who you were before I even answered.

DG: I don’t unders…

SF: I have caller ID.

DG: Oh.

SF: I jus…..(silent weeping) I just didn’t understand why you didn’t come back for those 5 years.

DG: I was in Colorado.

SF: Did you go to its State Fair.

DG: No!

SF: What about other fairs? County, city, rodeos, Staurday markets…..

DG: Do we really have to…..


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