Tuesday, August 3, 2010

(Father) Wine because of whine

I’m not drunk but I’m about to be. First off, this computer is not my friend. Second, it was a rough day with the kids. When is it not you ask? That is a good question. Let me start by saying…..

I don’t think I am the only person in the world who would like a good return on their investment. Money, time, and good health (self care) are the things we don’t have enough of and would like to be rewarded for anything we might do to increase the above things. Or at least feel as if the investment of money, time, and a sacrifice of self care was worth it. With that in mind, I have no qualms about saying I make investments into my kids (except when it doesn’t suit me). Sounds simple enough. But when I take them out to do special things I would like them to appreciate it. For instance, if I say, “Who wants to go to Dairy Queen” and hear a loud “YEAH!!” from the back seat I feel as if I am the best dad in the world. But when we get our overpriced Blizzard and I split it between the two I become unhappy very quickly.

“Fire got more than me”, “I don’t want a red spoon”, “Don’t want booster”, “Napkin!”

And I say, “Please sit down Fire”, “I can’t take out all the chocolate pieces Beast”, “Do you not want the ice cream ‘cause I can just throw it away.”

I walk out of Dairy Queen wondering what the whole point of the outing was. I just wanted to sit down, eat sweets, and talk about Star Wars. Daisy has said in the past, “Congratulations! If they weren’t acting as a normal 4 yr old and 2 yr old there would be a problem.” It’s true. Even during the moment of frustration I might picture them sleeping and being all cute and non whiny. And it is at that moment I wonder why I can’t be more patient. And then they wake up and I remember rather quickly. Don’t get me wrong, I laugh with them a lot. It is my own expectation and perception I need to work on.

Daisy was walking off the field from her indoor soccer game when one of her teammates said, “If I had to go back for a day I would want to be with my 2 and 4 yr old boys again.” Everyone smiled knowingly.

“Why?” I said.

“Well, my kids are now 17 and 19. They get hurt emotionally and all I want to do is hug them and say it will be ok. But they don’t want my hugs anymore. I can’t comfort them the way I used to when all they needed was my soothing voice and embracing arms to make everything better.”

“Oh.” I responded. I had to admit that was pretty good. After a day where I throw my hands up in the air and say, “I don’t care if you have the red cup and want the blue one. I’m not going to repour the milk.” Daisy will put her arm around me and say,

“You’re a good dad. They love you.” And it’s true they do love me and tell me that. Especially when I’m grumpy. I think it is their way of saying, “Are we still friends?” Their whining are like fingernails on a chalkboard but it is my job to socialize them so they don’t approach their boss and wife in the future and whine, “It’s not fair.” Well, maybe they will but at least it will be in a more sophisticated manner.

1 comment:

  1. Very good reminder, Goose. It is so difficult in the moment!