Sunday, May 16, 2010

(Man) Snowplow Madness II

Every time I would shovel in the morning I would come inside to shower and get ready for work. When I would go outside again I would see that our friendly snow plower blocked the driveway and the mailman's ability to give us cards and gifts. I would shovel the mailman's walk and be on my way to the bus or get picked up by a co-worker. I come home to see the nice snow plower had piled up even more snow in front of our driveway already packed down snow from the morning. I go inside and shovel again. The mounds getting increasingly higher while our across the street neighbors have two inches of snow plowed in front of their driveway. See, we live at the end of the snowplow route while our neighbors are at the beginning. And they are the people with the 650 dollar snow blower. They wave while I smile back and think "snow blow this buddy". At one point I asked Daisy to pull her weight around the chores of the house by doing a little shoveling. You know how she responded to me? It was, "I fixed your dinner, I put away the dishes, I'm carrying your unborn child, I just brought you your 3rd beer, you haven't gotten up from the couch for three hours, I just vacuumed the house and put Beast down to sleep". blah, blah blah

Anyway, it was 10:00 pm and I had shoveled two hours prior. Then I heard it. The snow plow. Then I saw the yellow and orange lights blinking through the drapes. He rumbled by and left as fast as he had come. The problem was, sleet and freezing rain had come down since I had shoveled last and I knew whatever Christmas gift the snow plow had left would be very heavy indeed. I got on my hat, gloves, shoes, etc. and lifted the garage door. I could hardly believe it. I seriously wondered how he had amassed so much snow. Had he driven 5 miles around the neighborhood before taking it to our house? Gotta keep Dr. Goose on his toes. And yes they know my name because they all have it out for me. Whatever doubt I had before then was clearly dispelled that night.

I begin my long night of shoveling. My anger increasing with every scoop. Daisy leans out. "You sure you want to do this now?" I don't answer. Too tired and too angry. I'm not gonna stop now. Then I had an idea. I can't remember the show or movie we had watched but it had something to do with changing your tactics based on the situation. Well my situation was I had just gotten screwed. Hhhhhmmmm...... I began shoveling the snow out into the street. I didn't have anywhere else to put it! The walls were too high and my strength was zapped. But I shoveled it on the left side of the driveway where they would have to take it down the street and unable to push it back into our driveway. I had to get on top of the mound of snow and begin shoveling it off the top. It took about an hour and half but I got it done. My anger mixed with a sense of hope drove my crazy shoveling. I looked at my work with sweat dripping off my brow in 10 degree weather. I was so tired I started to giggle. I took my half beaten body inside, ran the shower, and cleaned off. I was almost to the point where I could forgive the snow plow and it's evil henchman.

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