Wednesday, July 7, 2010

(Son) Virgo

I looked up Virgo personality traits but didn't like them so I'm going to skip that part.  What I won't skip is the emotional damage that was bestowed upon me in 3rd grade.  Her name? Heidi.  Her birthday?  My birthday.  Her classroom treat?  Goodie bags and chocolate cake.  My classroom treat?  Crusty dry brownies. 

Her mother must have put her daughter's birthday on par with Jesus Christ.  If our 3rd grade class treats were any indication of what she received at home.......well, it still sickens me.  Hey listen, I'm not complaining about how this 7 yr old b*tch ruined my birthday for the rest of my life.  It's just when my special day comes up I don't think about how old I am I think how old Heidi is and if she is having her birthday party in Hawaii with an invitation to all relatives and friends regarding free airfare and accommodations.  Wheh, my cathartic rant certainly helped.

Speaking of cathartic rants, did anybody see Jake and Vienna's interview after the show this week.  Daisy pulled it up on so I could watch it.  It was so beautiful my eyes welled up with tears of happiness.


  1. I don't like Heidi now either. (Even thought I don't know her. I am just doing that out of respect for my fellow blogger.) By the way, who are Jake and Vienna?

  2. Kelly,

    Thanks for having my back. Jake was last season's Bachelor and Vienna was the controversial "winner" who had the honor of marrying him. Their relationship unraveled very quickly and was very public. Their interview with Chris Harris was, in my opinion, an entertaining train wreck. I'm sadistic.

  3. Has the Bachelor became the night-time equivalent of Jerry Springer?

    What treats will the Beast take to school on his birthday?

  4. Brandon,

    You may be right. The Bachelor simply dips its drama in a vat of gooey love and sprinkles it with the nectar of betrayal.

    I think Beast should take sugar free gum. Do you have any suggestions?

  5. I simply cannot get enough of The Bachelor and all its trampy off shoots. Its a sick, sick disease and if loving it is wrong then I don't wanna be right.

    How much did you love Chris Harrison's statement, "It was clear early on this relationship was going to hell in a handbasket in a hurry". Love it.

    Thanks for following my blog; I hope you saw my recent post about being the Bachelorette???

  6. Jennifer,

    It's a disease many have but are afraid to admit fearing they will encounter a conservative person of high moral standards. AKA "The Shamer". The shamer will say, "How can anybody like that show? It's downright sinful." To that I say, "Do you see this Blizzard? There is absolutely no nutritional value in it but I'm going to eat the whole damn thing. Why? Because it tastes good. And if next Monday night I want another one? By golly I'm gonna eat another.