Sunday, October 24, 2010

(Father) Political Ads and Innocent Ears

This post is based upon true events.  And by true events I mean inspired by happenings that may, or may not, have happened in the Dr. Goose household.  More than likely the events about to be told did not happen but very well could have happened if given the right circumstances.

Beast:  Dad, who is that happy man on TV?

Goose:  Oh, that is Mr. Blah Blah.  He is running for the Blah office.

Beast:  What is he saying?

Goose:   Well, let's take a listen.  Um, sound like he is going to create jobs and provide leadership while developing new ideas.

Beast:  What else?

Goose:  Well, he is going to lower taxes, secure social security, place an emphasis on education, and be tough on crime.

Beast:  Is that good?

Goose:  I think it is wonderful.  He seems like a wonderful man who is going to stand up for the working class and fight for our freedom.

Beast:  Is that why he is so interested in those guys from the paper mill? 

Goose:  That's right son.

Beast:  Dad! Did you here that? He approves the message.

Goose:  That's because he is a man of integrity.

(Moments later)

Beast:   AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Goose:  What is is Beast?!!??!!

Beast:  Who is that man in the black and white photo?

Goose:  Why, it's Mr. Blah again.

Beast:  Why is there scary music?

Goose: I don't know son but I'm sure as hell going to find out.............Oh dear God!!

Beast:  Look at his face dad!  Is he going to kill us?

Goose:  Yes Beast.  I'm afraid he is.

Beast:  But why?!!!??

Goose:  Because this other guy is saying Mr. blah is going to destroy jobs, not going to lead us in the right direction, and continue making bad choices for our state's future. 

Beast:  What el.........

Goose:  Shut up Beast!!!  I'm trying to find out.

Beast:  Dad, (starting to whimper) Why are you crying?

Goose:  Because I've been taken advantage of and feel like an absolute fool!  A FOOL!!!! (Sigh).  I just found out he is actually going to raise taxes, take away social security, and take books away from you and Fire so he can spend it on prostitutes.  And to think, I was going to vote for that guy.  Wait a second...............Mr. Blah is from my registered party.  Those jerks making this commercial are rude and inconsiderate.  How can they live with themselves for putting this filth on the air?

I considered the thought of Mr. Blah's opponent winning and shuddered at the thought.  I made Beast and I Hot Chocolate and sat down for a brainstorming session.  After we decided to buy land in Idaho we discussed building a bunker loaded with guns, ammunition, and a 10 yr stock of canned corn and beef jerky.  God help us if Mr. Blah doesn't win.  God help us indeed.


  1. I've heard there are special air pockets north of Spokane and when things go from "bad to a s**t storm" when Mr. Blah doesn't win and Armageddon befalls us the air there will still be safe to breathe.

    (Yep, I watched Zombieland for the first time tonight.)

    I miss you Goose; I need to come here more often.

  2. I agree. Your presence and comments are much appreciated.