Tuesday, September 28, 2010

(Husband) Why are you with me?

When I was an insecure teenager I once a asked a friend, who was a girl, if I was attractive. 

"Ummm.....what do you mean?"

Bad sign, I thought.  I decided to make it easy.  "Like on a scale of 1 to 10."

"I don't know.  How about a 7?"  It sounded as if she hoped I would be satisfied with the answer so we could talk about something else.  I'm sure she was worried the next question would be asking her to the prom. 

At first I interpreted 7 to mean "Barely Palatable" but later had to realize I had attained a solid grade of C.  And you know what?  That's passing.  With a little extra charm, extra muscle, and a nice car I might even work myself up to an 8.  And 8 is awesome!  Now the girls are beginning to take notice. 

When I look at Daisy I see a beautiful woman and think, "I might be of equal attractiveness".  Then I think of the picture above and become frightened.

"Are you with me because of my money?" I say. 

"I hate to say this honey but we just got off of government assistance"

"Is it because of my prestige as a doctor?"

"Well, your not really a doctor per say.  Y'know, like medically speaking."

"Is it because I am the father of your children."

"I'm not entirely sure you are sweetie."

"Then what is it?"

She pinches one of my cheeks, vigorously shakes it from side to side, and says, "Because your so darn cute."

The 14 yr old Goose would have taken that in a heartbeat.  I think I will too.

1 comment:

  1. She definitely is NOT with you because you know how to properly use "your". "Your" is possessive. "You're" is what Daisy was saying; a contraction meaning "you are".

    You know, like "You're Welcome for the free grammar lesson."