Sunday, June 12, 2011

(Husband) BFF

Daisy and I went to visit my closest friend this past weekend.  We met in the 2nd grade and, at least from what I can remember, his first words to me were, "Why are your fingernails so long?"  I love Dot for many reasons.  One of which is he introduced me to Daisy.  It was Valentines day of 1997 and I was one of the eligible bachelors behind the curtain in a mock dating game.  I won and the rest is history.

What qualifies someone as a best friend anyway?  Is it your oldest friend?  The one that was the best man or maid of honor?  The one you talk most to now?  It would be appropriate to say my best friend is my wife.  She is the person I would choose to be with me if I were to be banished to a desert island.  But perhaps you can nominate one for best friend same sex and best friend opposite sex.  Do you have to talk to them a lot?  You just haven't found someone you like better so they are available until the next best thing comes along?  Or can you only have a best friend if you are a middle school girl who shares one half of a broken heart that says, "Be....Fri"?

I think one of the qualifications is that the affection has to be mutual.  You can't say someone is your best friend if they don't feel the same about you.  I also think the term, "One of my best friends" can't be used.  There can only be one best right?  Even if it changes week to week.  I'm also a big believer in ritual.  The pact must be made.  That is why, in the 6th grade, I asked Dot to be my blood brother.  The conversation went something like this. 

"Dot, I saw the most awesome movie last night!"


"No listen, it was awesome because there was this scene that had these two guys.  And these two guys thought the other one was really awesome."


"So they were so into having each others back that they decided they needed to become brothers."

"How did they do that?"

"They cut their own palms, clasped their hands together, and tied a cloth around their hands to seal the deal."

"That's gross"

"Dot!  It's the coolest thing ever!  Y'know how I've always thought it would be sweet if our parents divorced and one of our parents liked the other one and they got married and we both decided to live with the parents that were married and share the same room?"


"Well this is the next best thing! Blood brothers are so much cooler than step or half brothers because they don't decide that stuff.  But we do."

"I think it's gross"

"Dot!  Are you listening to me?!?  Cutting ourselves shows that we really really care.  I wouldn't even cut myself for my dad dude.  Y'know?  Like, I think we should even let the other person cut our palm.  Like, y'know, like we trust each other and stuff."


"Are you gonna eat those chips?"

"Dude, lets just walk around the track."

"Recess is almost over.  Are we gonna do this or not?"


"I found this sharp rock in the bushes.  Don't look at me like that!  I'm serious man.  Dude, your just scared.  ok, y'know how I've liked Karrie ever since first grade?"


"Well, if you do this I'll let you like her.  I won't even be mad.  You guys can kiss and I won't even care." 

"Karrie has a big nose.  What if you have some sort of disease?"

"That's even better!  Because then you share the same disease.  Your even more, like, bonded.  Your so stupid dude.  Ok fine.  Let's just spit in our hands and shake."

Dot continued to deny my requests until I finally came up with the idea of splitting a 2 dollar bill and for each of us carry it in our wallets.  I saw it on an episode in the mini series "North and South" where each friend was fighting for the other army.  Even though I didn't get the scar I wanted, after 25 yrs we still have half the bill in our back pocket.  Weird. 


  1. Ha! I became blood sisters with my (then) best friend in first grade. We used rose thorns to jab our thumbs. As I recall, it hurt. Tearing the 2-dollar bill was smarter, all in all.

  2. Love it. And I thought the blood stuff was more of a guy thing.

  3. Let's become bodily fluid brothers. Thanks for the kind words. BFF!

  4. Also, I don't have the half of the $2 bill in my wallet anymore. I think it's in a box somewhere in my mom's garage.

  5. I didn't think you read this thing! I'm overwhelmed with...........with some sort of Maybe embarassment? I think it's anxiety with a touch of gratitude.