Wednesday, January 5, 2011

(Father) Misunderstood

This morning Fire was having a difficult time putting on his shoes and was throwing a bit of a fit.  Strike that.  Daisy was having a difficult time putting on Fire's shoes and he was having a tantrum.  And so jokingly.  JOKINGLY! I said, "Looks like you need a good 'ol fashioned butt whoopin'"  I immediately heard Beast's heavy footsteps running from his room screaming, "I want a butt whoopin'! I want a butt whoopin'!".  Fire decided if Beast wanted something he had every right to demand it as well.  "I want a butt whoopin' too!"

"Guys, guys, guys, slow down for goodness sake. Nobody is getting a butt whoopin'"

"AWWWW, but it's not fair!" said Beast

"Not Fair!" said his parrot little brother.

"Guys, a butt whoopin' is not something you want."

"But I do." said Beast.  And do I even need to say it?

"I do too." said Fire.

"(Sigh) How about a graham cracker instead?"

"NOOOOOOO" they both said in unison.  Christmas candy has warped their brain into thinking the world revolves around it and a butt whoopin' is filled with sugar.  Beast has had a habit of trying to get my attention, and once getting it, begins searching for what to say.  Sometimes it's, "Um um um um......I love you" which is great.  Now it is, "Um um um um......can I have a treat?"

I always try to think about how our family conversations might be retold to others and have learned explanations do not alwayss help.  In fact, it tends to confuse them and gives them more ammunition.  For instance, Scooby Doo had a mechanical scorpion that chased Shaggy and Scooby around until it broke.  That night Beast asked if all machines were bad.  Daisy would have done the smart thing and said, "No. Machines are good.  I love you and goodnight".  Beast would have said "I love you too.", laid his unconcerned head on his pillow, and slept soundly. I explained how dishwashers and bulldozers were good but some machines could be dangerous if used in the wrong way.  Beast looked at me and said, "I'm scared".  

So, in case you were wondering, I ignored their pleas for a butt whoopin' (with no explanation as to what it was) and gave them a graham cracker which was met with utter disappointment and a wish for what could have been.  I told Daisy I thought I needed a good ol' fashioned butt whoopin from her.  If you want to know what that conversation was like then refer to the dialogue above with I acting in the role of Beast and Daisy acting in the role of me. 

Happy New Year


  1. So, did you enjoy your graham cracker? ;)

  2. Yes. I asked for one more but she said it would ruin my appetite for breakfast. I asked for the real reason and she said I could stand to loose some of my "holiday flab". She is cruel.