tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post9165598758593087311..comments2011-12-26T15:04:59.711-08:00Comments on Husband/Father/Son/Brother/Man: (Father) PooDr. Goosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07605967916129162361noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post-85875288404828606412010-08-20T23:33:10.454-07:002010-08-20T23:33:10.454-07:00That was hilarious!That was hilarious!Dr. Goosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07605967916129162361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post-3084026611947957752010-08-20T18:46:20.186-07:002010-08-20T18:46:20.186-07:00Good poop story. Here's my favorite, from:
ht...Good poop story. Here's my favorite, from:<br /><br />http://deadspin.com/5458631/your-super-bowl-bye-week-pooparoo<br /><br />My kid was about 1 or 1 1/2 when he started going through a poop phase. He was obsessed with poop. He would insist on looking at a shitty diaper after he destroyed it, with a "yeah that's right, say my name, bitch!" look on his face. He would talk about it all the time in public ("Daddy I have a HUGE LOAD in my pants"). He would barge into the bathroom when I was dropping anchor and insist on taking a look at my craftwork. He even went through a period where he would stick his finger in his ass and then put it in his mouth and say "it's yummy" (by the way this was super fucked up and scarred me for life).<br />So one day, just after breakfast, he drops a load and my wife goes to change him. She lays him back on the changing table, takes his shitty diaper off, wraps it up, and turns to put it in the diaper genie. She looks away and then turns back, leaning over him to coo or sing or make goo goo noises or whatever chicks do. What she did not realize was that the little fecophile had stuck his hand down into his ass while she was looking away and now had what could best be described as a shit mitten. So she is singing away and he reaches up and fish hooks her with the shit mitten. Just jams his hand in her mouth and yanks down on her jaw, scraping poo off his hand with her teeth (ever eat an artichoke?). It took a second or two for her to realize he had shit all over his hands...and that she, therefore, now had a mouthful of baby shit. She gagged and was so disgusted that she promptly VOMITED ON THE BABY and started crying hysterically, which of course made the baby start crying. I heard the commotion and by the time I walked in, they were both screaming and crying, covered in regurgitated Special K and poo. My wife ran over to the bathroom and I actually saw her SPIT POO in the sink (definitely NOT a turn on). Meanwhile, the baby quickly went from crying to laughing, looks up at me innocently and says "Daddy, I'm POOOPY!" Roger that.Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17519314203857430078noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post-56414550630356101042010-08-17T13:02:57.174-07:002010-08-17T13:02:57.174-07:00Dianne,
You are right. Shower hoses can be usefu...Dianne,<br /><br />You are right. Shower hoses can be useful for more than just cleansing. Waterboarding might be another.Dr. Goosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07605967916129162361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post-39240531567099911572010-08-16T14:10:22.340-07:002010-08-16T14:10:22.340-07:00Back in the day, my husband and I would have calle...Back in the day, my husband and I would have called this episode "A FIVE ALARMER." <br /><br />Now that the kids have grown into a surly teenager and a know-it-all tweenie, a shower hose might still solve some behavior problems. You know: like the way you squirt a cat in the face when he's being naughty?Dianne K. Salernihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16459839567235304842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post-91018362937806914732010-08-10T14:16:47.415-07:002010-08-10T14:16:47.415-07:00Linda,
Tawna deals with dogs while I deal with ki...Linda,<br /><br />Tawna deals with dogs while I deal with kids. So your saying grown kids don't do this anymore? I'm losing hope. Can you believe the ants? I swear we are not disgusting people.Dr. Goosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07605967916129162361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post-52333727386137072822010-08-10T07:18:54.873-07:002010-08-10T07:18:54.873-07:00LOL! Oh, man. I am SO glad my kids are grown.LOL! Oh, man. I am SO glad my kids are grown.Linda G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/04576828490765434497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post-75357445356962798342010-08-09T22:49:12.461-07:002010-08-09T22:49:12.461-07:00Baker,
He has peeing down just fine. If I ask hi...Baker,<br /><br />He has peeing down just fine. If I ask him to poo he says, "Later daddy. Later" Like 15 yrs old later?Dr. Goosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07605967916129162361noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5574483698795994441.post-74122909080515951182010-08-09T22:26:16.067-07:002010-08-09T22:26:16.067-07:00Wow... that sounds like a really great afternoon w...Wow... that sounds like a really great afternoon with the kids! I can't wait until I get to potty train!Erik and Amy Bakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16113516778344484397noreply@blogger.com